Let's whine some more...

The other day, I've decided that whining is boring and that I should come up with a list of reasons to support the claim that "living in France is better (or at least equally good) as living in Poland".

The idea was to find personal reasons. For example, the fact that abortion is legal in France is a plus for this country, but it has nothing to do with my at that point of my life. The fact that the state helps financially when one has children also has no direct impact on me. I wanted a reason for myself.

"There is cheese" - said a friend. Yes, but I can buy cheese in Poland too.

"Contraception is refunded". Yes, all of it, except the kind I take.

I really tried. I did. And it's been a week and nothing comes to mind. I think I came up with something last night before falling asleep, but now I don't remember what it was.

Tomorrow I fly to Poland for a conference, maybe when I'm back there I will have an epiphany. Seriously, I need at least one thing.

However, if you want me to list things that piss me off about France, I will have no problem giving it to you straight away.

Anna as an object

Recently I became interested in research on self-objectification theory. In a nut shell, it says that from very early on women learn to treat themselves as objects that are there to be looked at and that they constantly monitor their own bodies as if to see it through the eyes of others. Clearly it causes numerous problems. High trait self-objectification is connected to eating disorders, dissatisfaction with one’s body, but it also decreases the ability to do math or even to throw a ball.

Now I’ve been wondering how the fact that my personality is gone influences the levels of my own self-objectification. As I mentioned before, I started defining myself by the fact that I paint my nails red. My other body attributes were always important to me. When asked what is special about me, I would always answer that it would be my natural very very blond hair and the fact that my eye-sight is perfect. Both of those things will vanish with time, so I will have to re-define myself, but that’s a different issue. When teaching classes at the uni here, I would always were high-heels even though after a whole day of standing in front of a white-board, I would barely make it back to the metro. When going to my lab, I will always do make-up and try to look the best possible. And yes, I really think it is so that people will remember me for something. I’m the Ph.D. student who never says anything, but at least her eye-lashes are always perfect.

Maybe not the best way to start an academic career… 

Loneliness in Toulouse

We've been in France for almost a year. And I'm lonely. It's hard to make friends in a country the language of which is just a string of sexy sounds that you don't understand. And the French - like the stereotype says - do not speak English.


The Boyfriend made friends. He goes out with them and comes back home drunk, while I sit on the couch and read post-colonial literature. I like his friends. They are fun, but there is no language in which we can communicate, so after an hour of laughing at jokes I don't understand, I come to the conclusion that I'd rather stay at home and read post-colonial literature.


My personality changes depending on the language I use, and in French, I just don't have one. In French, I'm my geek boyfriend's girlfriend with nothing interesting or funny to say. So I started painting my nails red and that's all the personality I have right now.